Tomorrow is Tabaski, the Muslim holiday that commemorates Abraham's almost-sacrifice of Ishmael. In Senegal, Tabaski is celebrated by slaughtering moutons* in courtyards such that the blood runs out into the streets, then feasting with family and neighbors until there is no mouton left. I'm also told that the moutons are sometimes slaughtered on the beaches then washed in the ocean. After recreating the Red Sea, Senegalese bury pastel-colored mangoes in the sand in order to combine as many Biblical holidays as possible. Just kidding! Mango season is over.

*Senegalese use the word "mouton," which means sheep, for their goats. Possibly because they only have goats instead of rams, which Wikipedia tells me was the actual Biblical animal of choice. Changing the name of the animal seems to make it symbolically appropriate.

In the past week, the moutons have been out and about by the thousands in the streets of Dakar, and here in the big city they sell for up to $800. Or, if you're smart, you go outside the city, get a really nice mouton for $100, then load it in the bottom of a bus along with everyone's luggage and bring it back for your family.

(Five points to the person who can confirm that these are goats and not rams.)

There has been a mouton tied up across from my apartment for several months now, often being fed cardboard and garbage in order to fatten it up. This afternoon, three more moutons had appeared. Tonight, a mouton appeared in my courtyard, right outside my door. I'm really really hoping that this does not also mean that it will be slaughtered outside my door at 9 am tomorrow.

At least the owners gave it some water, right?

I will be celebrating Tabaski by traveling to an island that is technically closed with a guide who is supposed to stick around to make sure we don't burn down the place but who is instead going to leave in order to celebrate with the moutons. It's quite possible that either we will be forced to pay enough for 5 moutons in order to be allowed back in the boat, or our guide will not find it convenient to return at all, and we will be forced to call in UN air support to rescue us from our descent into Lord of the Flies, Act V: Ile de la Madeleine.

Wish me luck!

The Rumors are True

For those of you who have seen my latest Facebook status, it's true: This weekend I became a Senegalese television star. I was at Goree Island, a fifteen minute boat ride from Dakar, for the annual Goree Diaspora Festival. (Historical side note: Goree was the point of departure for much of the slave trading in West Africa, although the famed "Door of No Return" does not actually lead to a potential ship but to a cliff face.) When we arrived at Goree, we found not a festival celebrating--well, frankly, I didn't quite know what a Diaspora festival would celebrate--but a festival mostly celebrating the island nation of Cape Verde and various other island nations, such as Martinique. Not important that Goree is not an island nation. In any case, the President of Cape Verde showed up to shake hands with the Ambassador from Venezuela in front of a picture of Chavez, so a good time was had by all.

To prove to the country that not only is an island made famous by a horrible tragedy F-U-N FUN, but also that white, non-French tourists also find it fun, my friend Sergio and I were stopped by a TV crew asking us to give an interview, but only if we were Anglophones. We were asked to describe the festival in one word. I chose "colorful." Sergio chose "fun," followed by "warm" (hi, it's Africa). Can you tell which of the two of us really cared about reaching out to the Senegalese population to show our love for their (Cape Verde's) culture?

The best part was that our efforts at stardom paid off. Both of us were seen on TV by our colleagues, who practically fainted as we walked down the hallways of our respective UN agencies and blew kisses at the adoring fans.

I would upload a photo as proof of my celebrity, but my internet is so bad that I have to load Gmail in html. What is this, 2005?

(Update: Okay, so it is no longer 2005, and I found some better internet.)